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March 25, 2006

Just because you're pretty...


Dear Silk Noir,

You seem to be laboring (laboring? Hah. Lounging is more like it.) under the misapprehension that just because everyone has told you how pretty you are your whole life, this somehow means that you do not have to conform to the standards of decent behavior expected of other yarn. Let me just say that I hope your behavior during our (several) hours with the ballwinder and swift are not an indication of what is to come when I am actually knitting with you. That was deplorable. I am not supposed to have to wind half of you by hand in order to get the other half to wind onto the ballwinder. You are not supposed to constantly wind yourself around everything in range EXCEPT for the ballwinder. Just no.

I know how you pretty yarns are. And it's not even your fault, not entirely. You've always been able to get by just based on your looks. You don't think you have to be nice to the other girl yarns, because they'll want to be friends with you just because you're pretty and popular, so why treat them well? You don't say thank you when the boy yarns hold doors for you or pay you compliments, because you just think you deserve it. You just don't think about how the other yarns feel, because if they're not as pretty as you are, they might as well just not exist, right? No. Wrong.

And you know what? There are plenty of other yarns in this house that would be more than happy to be knitted next, missy. (Did you see those five projects' worth of yarn I brought home today? Did you?) Sure, most of them aren't as flashy as you are, but I'll take a plain, decent, good wool who cooperates with me over an obnoxious silk prima donna any day.

I'm going to go work on something else while you think about this a bit. And I'd advise you to think hard: I'm afraid that if your behavior doesn't improve, my next step will have to be to send you to stay with Vickie for a while. And trust me, she is not taken in by your shiny rainbowy ways.

Hoping we can work together here,
Your Knitter

P.S. Have you seen the last yarn that went to stay with Vickie? Has anyone? Just think about that for a minute.

Posted by Kat at March 25, 2006 06:15 PM

Hee hee. Um, what does Vickie do with wicked naughty yarn? Give it extra Potions homework?

Posted by: Chris at March 25, 2006 08:08 PM

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