Kat with a K

Gossip Girl Season Finale Liveblog

Good evening, Upper East Siders! Everyone settling in for what promises to be an exciting - and upsetting - finale? My dinner is mainly comprised of lettuce and grapes, coincidentally, so Blair would approve. Ready? Here we go.

9:00 Previously, about a million completely ridiculous things happened. Please don't remind us, Gossip Girl. Jenny, what's weird about you wanting your life to get back to normal is that when you had your old life all you ever wanted was the new one. Chuck, you're lucky you're you because no one else could get away with this "At 7:01 I'm closing my heart to you forever" nonsense. And yes, that Gossip Girl blast does say "Empire State Building of Mind." Sigh.

9:01 Is the song in the background "You Really Got a Hold on Me"? I think it might be. Notice how we're starting in Grand Central, just like the pilot? Oh look! It's Georgina.

The van der Humphreys are eating waffles. OF COURSE THEY ARE. I'm not sure Lily is the best person to ask for advice about raising teen girls.

9:02 Eric, as usual, is the one reasonable person here.

Did Jenny finally actually sleep with Nate? They're both awfully clothed for that. How long are they going to drag out this Jenny-has-sex thing? (Wait, don't answer that, because I think I know the answer and I don't like it.)

9:03 Chuck is very dapper for so early in the morning. Bringing them breakfast in bed. HEEEEE.

9:04 Dorota is ridiculously pregnant. Blair is already all frenetic-crazy. Dorota is a Chuck/Blair shipper. Hee. Blair is dragging poor pregnant Dorota on her date. Really, if everyone on this show listened to Dorota and Eric, things would be a lot more reasonable. But then, there would be no show.

9:05 Georgina has randomly shown up at Chuck's Home for Wayward Girls. Of course she has. I think I like her better on Mercy. Chuck's being harsh, but I'm glad at least one person recognizes none of them have any reason to trust Georgina.

9:06 Dan and Serena are in his bed, also fully clothed! And - oh, Jenny. She takes their picture, of course, and this might actually be the most realistic version of her plan to break up Nate and Serena we've seen yet.

9:07 Dan looked at Serena's ringing phone and saw it was Nate and for a second I thought he was actually going to answer, but luckily, not even Dan is that dumb. I mean, when your ex-girlfriend/stepsister is sleeping in your bed and her boyfriend calls, you don't answer. Wait, is Serena putting her underwear on? So wait, they . . . kissed? Is that all? Why were her pants off?

9:08 "Do we have to tell anyone?" No, Serena, you do not have to tell anyone that you kissed your stepbrother. Why on earth would you tell anyone? They are so emphasizing not telling anyone that obviously they will both immediately tell people. She leaves and... goes in for another kiss. Yeah. Guys. You're not very good at this.

Gossip Girl breaks out the Faulkner!

9:09 That moment of Chuck and Nate looking at their phones and then at each other was classic. Dan, you should not need to see the coffee cup emblazoned with "JENNY" to know who did this. Who did he think was in his house?

9:13 Blair looks a little surprised/confused when Serena says Jenny is obviously behind the photos. A little role reversal there, no?

9:14 "Are you friends with Vanessa?" I love that Dan has to ask this. Also, guys, the more times you say "meaningless," the less meaningless it gets.

9:15 Why do they keep being so surprised that an unsupervised grounded girl isn't just staying where she's told? Have they met Jenny? And wow, Chuck telling someone to stop playing games? Hee.

9:16 Nate! You are in no place to question "We just fell asleep talking" here! You just did the EXACT SAME THING!

9:17 Blair/Jenny smackdown! Yay! Wait, Nate and Serena is "mythic"? I'm not sure that means what you think it means, Blair. But I love Blair in scenes like this. She's really at her best here. "Signs are for the religious, the superstitious, and the lower-class." Also, she was rather smiling as she was damning Chuck Bass to hell, no?

9:19 Blair's going to go meet Chuck! Wait, Dorota's water broke! Of course it did. Blair was so smiley a second ago. That was great.

9:24 Yes! Shipping Jenny off to her mother! Best idea Rufus has ever had! The city's all she has? What does that even mean?

9:25 I don't think I want to know about Cyrus's birthing coach experience. Wait, why is everyone showing up at the hospital? This seems a little excessive.

9:26 I think I'm on Nate's side here. He is right.

9:27 "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right" is kind of an odd song choice for labor and then Blair trying to find Chuck. And was Nate's phone a piece of product placement for something that actually looks really clunky to use? Huh.

9:28 Facial expressions like that are why I always end up a little in awe of Leighton Meester. And now is when I start saying "NO NO NO NO NO" as this inevitable Chuck/Jenny thing finally happens. Chuck is actually being really believable here, though.

9:29 Chuck: "The world you're looking for only exists from the outside. The only reason I survive in it is because I always knew it was empty." That might be the most true thing anyone's ever said on this show.

9:33 Oh, CHUCK. Oh, JENNY. Stop. Please. Stop. They're not stopping but at least we don't have to see them, for the moment.

9:33 And we're at the hospital, and Dan is inexplicably the one staring at the babies. Okay, Serena and Dan are actually pretty adorable together, I have to say.

9:34 Why are they letting Georgina stare at babies? Her evil might rub off. Aw, the baby's name is Anastasia. Cute. Anyone else get the impression that Eleanor's more excited about this baby than she ever was about her own?

9:35 Does Dan actually think he and Vanessa are happy? Hmm.

9:36 Okay, as much as I hate this whole Chuck/Jenny hookup, Chuck is actually being fairly tender and considerate here. And... of COURSE Blair shows up. Sigh.

9:37 Don't LIE, Chuck. Lying to Blair never ends well. And - you didn't expect to see her ever again? REALLY? What about the fact that all your friends are in common? That's a little unrealistic there, Charles. Oh, the look on Chuck's face when he sees the flowers is that amazing one he pulls out for moments like this. Aww.

9:38 Chuck was so completely happy for a second there until he remembered about Jenny. SIgh. And... Jenny's gone. What happened with the bed? She was doing something, but it wasn't clear what.

9:43 I really can't bring myself to have much sympathy for Jenny. She totally knew what she was getting into. How much do they spend on eye makeup for this girl, I wonder?

9:44 I do like how quickly Eric figured out what Jenny's "mistake" regarding Chuck was. And hey, Jenny, I know you wanted it to be special and all, but you got Chuck in his bed. That's saying something. Blair got the back of a limo, after all.

9:45 I do not approve of these car dealership ads popping up on the screen during episodes. I'd rather watch more actual commercials. Of course, I fast forward through the commercials, which I suppose is why they're doing the pop-up thing.

Eric: "Jenny's here. She needs help." Dan: "You're just now realizing this?" HEE. That was a nice little brotherly concern moment there, boys.

9:46 I'm not convinced Nate would ever think to start a sentence with "I find it in my heart to..." It's just taking a break, Serena? Are we going to do this whole "on a break" thing? AGAIN? Nate's being a little harsh here, but also totally within his rights.

9:47 Oh! Oh! Chuck's proposing! And . . . Dan ruins it. Of course. GAH. "Go. And never come back." Leighton Meester's acting the hell out of this. I don't really think this is all Chuck's fault here. Jenny was certainly willing, and knew more or less what was going on with Chuck and Blair, right? But it's still nice to see Dan being all brotherly.

9:48 Serena, correctly, takes in the whole scene and immediately zeroes in on Blair. Because Blair is the only person Serena can consistently bring herself to care about, regardless of what else is going on.

9:49 Okay, I get that Blair sees this as a huge betrayal, but she and Chuck were broken up. And I think Chuck is being completely honest when he says he didn't care if he lived or died at that moment. I mean, it wasn't the best decision he could have made, but I don't think it's quite as awful as the show seems to be telling us it is.

9:52 And Jenny's off to Hudson, claiming it was her idea. Um? Nice parallelism to the pilot with Jenny and Dan coming home from Hudson.

9:53 Jenny is really obnoxious telling all these people who love her that there's nothing left for her in the city. And Eric is being adorable. And I'm starting to get worried, because we have seven minutes left and Georgina hasn't done anything yet.

Blair's point about how life is kind of like summer for Serena is pretty brilliant. Wait. WAIT. Wasn't it snowing last episode? Why is it suddenly summer? What is this, New Hampshire?

9:54 I like Blair's implication that Serena has something worth writing a memoir about. Hee. I like this idea of them in Paris. Could be fun. "As long as we have each other, we're both going to be okay." That's where this show begins and ends, really.

9:55 This Dan and Nate apology call is completely adorable. I love their scenes together. Hee, Chuck's in Prague! Nate has Chuck's girls! Nate, you will never be Chuck, but it's cute to watch you try. (Tip: Stop with the plaid shirts.)

(And I just got a text saying "WTF???!!!!!!" from my cousin Liz. Now I'm scared to finish the episode.)

9:56 Blair is wearing some sort of sailor dress. Awesome. No! Dan! You don't need to search for "www.airfrance.com"! You know the URL! You can type it in! It drives me crazy when people do this. At least he seems to be back to using a Google clone rather than Bing, though.

9:57 Did he really just buy a ticket that quickly?? I could get behind Dan trying to get Serena back. That could be interesting. OMG. As soon as Georgina says "Looking for you," I think I know what's going on. Hah! I was right! And, um, that's quite an outfit there, Georgina.

Hm. I am not as shocked or upset about this as others seem to be.

9:58 OMG! Never mind, clearly CHUCK GETTING SHOT is what people are upset about! Oh. Wow. Okay.

Verdict: Not as shocking as The Vampire Diaries finale, but pretty good. Hmm. I will have to contemplate.